When it comes to what turns people on, everyone is a little different. Some people are all about a certain part of their body being touched or teased, while others might be more attracted to certain personality traits.
That’s why when a new survey from the sex toy retailer EdenFantasys asked 2,000 Americans about their biggest turn-ons, not all of the questions were about what happened inside the bedroom. The survey found there were a lot of non-sexual things that turned people on, many of them related to the other person’s character or how that person made them feel.
It may be that, somewhere, we know that little personality traits ultimately mean that this person could be a good partner. “You need to look for the random acts of consideration and kindness,” psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. “These are the things that will last you.”
And maybe that’s why when we notice someone being affectionate or clever or kind, it starts to really get our motors running — because we’re recognizing characteristics that we want in a long-term partner.
Here are the most popular turn-ons that happen outside of the bedroom, from making someone feel appreciated to intelligence, according to the EdenFantasy survey.
1. Smelling Good: 69%
Smell is incredibly evocative — it can bring out so many different emotions, sensations, and feelings, so it’s no surprise that the way someone smells can be a turn-on. And bad smell can definitely be a turn-off, so smell may be something to keep in mind when you’re getting ready for a date.
2. Being Affectionate: 64%
Sometimes, we just want someone to show us some love. Being affectionate came in at number two on the list, with 64 percent of people saying that someone being affectionate could be a turn-on for them. If you’re looking for a meaningful connection with someone, it’s easy to see how having them be affectionate could have a powerful effect. It’s a sign of intimacy and caring, both of which can help you feel closer and maybe even a little turned on.
3. Making Me Feel Appreciated: 61%
Feeling appreciated is definitely a wonderful thing, but who would of thought that 61 percent of respondents would also find it a turn-on? Remember to say thank you, because it could have a stronger effect than you think.
4. A Good Sense Of Fashion: 46%
Nearly half of respondents — 46 percent — said that someone dressing nicely turned them on. Although people can have wildly different fashion senses, so one person’s dream outfit might not be the same as another’s.
5. Intelligence: 45%
The brain is a sexy organ — and this survey proves it. Forty-five percent of people were turned on by someone else’s intelligence.
6. Confidence: 43%
You often hear that confidence is sexy, but here the proof is in the pudding. Confidence is definitely a turn-on for a lot of people — 43 percent to be exact.
7. Generosity: 39%:
It turns out that being kind to others can really pay off — with 39 percent of people saying that they found generosity a turn-on. Not that that’s the only reason someone should be generous, obviously, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.
Some turn-ons happen between the sheets, but a lot of them come down to who you are as a person. Behaviors, personality traits, and attitudes can really affect not only how someone views you, but also just how sexy you look in their eyes.
