If you clicked on this because you are truly concerned that your boyfriend has fallen out of you, then the first thing you need to know is to trust yourself.
Don’t believe me? Well, that’s coming from the experts.
“It’s not something that people just dream up in their heads unless there are warning signs,” says Eric Resnick, an online dating coach who has many clients come to him after their relationship has failed.
While some of those warning signs are listed below, read on knowing that your gut should always come first.
1. He Is Not An Active Participant In Your Relationship
Maybe he doesn’t listen the way he used to. Maybe he used to be really open with his emotions, and now, he’s shutting you out. Maybe he is reluctant to make plans with you or stalls when you ask him about his weekend plans.
According to Resnick, whether or not a person is putting effort into a relationship is a major sign that they are falling out of love.
These signs, in and of themselves, don’t necessarily mean that somebody doesn’t love you. Stress — particularly stress from money or work — can definitely factor in to how much a person is able to participate in a relationship emotionally.
The only way to find out what’s truly going on is to ask.
2. Sex Dropped Off Dramatically
According to sex therapist Stefani Threadgill, a lack of sex is a major indicator that something is wrong in a relationship.
“It’s often thought that women have sex to fulfill emotional needs, and men have sex to fulfill physical needs,” Threadgill tells Elite Daily. “However, in my clinical experience, connection is important for men.”
Sex is used to feel loved, appreciated, and connected. She explains that some people have sex in order to feel these things, and some need to feel them before they have sex.
Even so, sex is basically a vehicle to get our needs for love and appreciation met.
“I see this more with men,” says Threadgill. “They say they want more sex, but what they really want are those needs met.”
As with putting effort into a relationship, lack of sex doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of love. There are all sorts of factors that can impede somebody’s sex drive, and if needs aren’t being met either in or out of the bedroom, an open and honest conversation has to happen.
3. He Doesn’t Flirt With You
Depending on his love language, your partner might show affection by bestowing gifts upon you or simply telling you that you look nice. Whatever that language may be, you’ll definitely notice when it goes away.
“If he doesn’t compliment you the way he used to, it’s a sign he has lost interest,” says Resnick. “That could be something coming from him or something that you are projecting on him.”
People put a lot of effort into both their physical appearance as well as their social graces when they are first falling in love, notes Threadgill. Flirting and seduction requires effort that needs to be continued in order for a relationship to continue as well.
“If you notice that you are no longer a priority in his life, it is a sign that he is disconnected or on his way out,” says Threadgill.
4. He Puts Less Effort In Taking Care Of Himself
That flirting and seduction doesn’t only go one way, Threadgill points out. When love first happens, then people tend to be extra attentive toward their own appearance.
You know that makeover impulse you get after a breakup, when you start hitting the gym, or going on shopping sprees? That comes from an almost primal fear that you won’t be able to attract a new mate.
If your partner isn’t taking care of himself anymore, then it’s a sign that some other things may be slipping, too.
“He may also disengage or withdraw in an effort to create distance,” Threadgill adds.
5. He Doesn’t Want To Fix Issues In The Relationship
Surprisingly, she says that 90 percent of the inquiries that she receives come from men.
So if you bring the above issues to your partner’s attention, and he isn’t willing to work on them, then that’s a huge indicator that, if it isn’t over already, it’s going to be over soon.
As with any relationship, communication is key. If you’re worried about a loss of love, then it’s time to sit down and have a heart to heart with your partner.
And if he doesn’t give you that, well, then that might be all the information you need.
To quote my favorite Britney Spears outfit: “Dump him.”
